For the majority of us, the relationship we have with our loved one does sometimes reach a stage where we are probably ever at odds with our partner. Although we may be deeply in love with that special person, it can be that this makes us more emotional, sometimes even irrational, and we may begin to second guess what our partner is thinking.
This approach of "I think, you think" can be very dangerous, but this does happen, and inevitably makes our situation worse. From my own personal experience, it is a thousand times better to stop this runaway train of emotion and mind games and just simply nip it all in the bud, stopping the sinister build up of self-doubt, blame, anger, lack of trust and worry, all of which can combine and lead to conflict, which may break you apart from your love.
I have struggled with this and driven myself crazy at times, trying too hard to please my partner and make everything right. This actually has had a negative effect on me, resulting in my loss of self-worth and confidence. You do not want this to happen, but it just does, unless you take control of your mind, and does not allow it to dictate your life.
With my situation, I ever realized that my partner and I were going to break up, and soon, unless changes were quickly made. I decided that I could not wait to simply watch this happen, by doing nothing, so set myself some time alone in the house to come up with a solution. I studied articles, self-help books and posed questions to myself, in order to explore my feelings. I also took to going out to the gym, as I discovered earlier in life, that taking exercise proves to be a great aid to emptying your mind of negative thoughts, and helps one to gain focus.Throughout these processes, I hit on a few positive ideas, which I have since adopted and which may also assist you.
So, what can you do to maintain a healthy relationship and stay together with your loved one?
Here are 7 steps that may be taken, which helped me tremendously, and which I believe may also be of benefit to you:
1. Give your partner their own space to be themselves and do as they wish. Let them breathe. They may decide to allocate a night once a week where they have a course at College, go swimming, or meet up with their friends. This will be of benefit to you both, as you can get on with your own activities while your partner is busy.
2. Do not forget the importance of letting your loved one know that you care about them. Quite often, especially in a long-term relationship, this may be overlooked. Tell them that you love them. This will show them that they are appreciated and not taken for granted, which will alleviate a build up of anxiety and damaging thoughts. Do not leave any room for second guessing.
3. Remember to have a laugh, even at your own expense. This will help to clear the air. If you always take yourself so seriously, this will not bode well. Think back to when you first met and have this happiness in mind. This will definitely make you feel more relaxed and your partner will appreciate this, as will you.
4. Arrange a romantic trip away, or if money dictates, just an evening out somewhere peaceful, where you can both unwind. A change of surroundings, even for a short while, will take any pressures away and be healthy for your mind, raising your spirits.
5. It's the little things that are important, so treat your partner as you yourself would like to be treated. It's important to remember though, that any relationship is a two-way process, and that you are not solely responsible for everything. Bearing this in mind, will help relieve any pressure that you may have been piling on yourself and enable you to loosen up, which will be good for your relationship.
6. In order to avoid conflict, do not read the riot act or allot blame. An aggressive approach is destructive and will just end with you both being upset, going round in circles, and achieving nothing except heartache and misery. Nobody desires for any of that, so talk calmly with your partner and make them feel that they are not isolated. I can not emphasize this enough.
7. If there is a problem to overcome, no matter how major or minor, work together, as each of you has different ideas. If you work together, you can accomplish anything. Think in a positive manner, even though you may not always feel like it. By doing so, you will immediately improve your outlook and chances of sorting out your situation. Flip over that mental coin, that's all you have to tell yourself.